[knocking on door]
(Becca) Holly, you've gotta open up.
(Holly) I'm not so sure about this.
[continues knocking]
Come on open the door, tough guy.
Okay.
You look awesome. Turn.
I cannot believe that you talked me into going to the dance.
I thought you said you've been to like, a million schools.
Schools, a million. Dances, zero.
[door bell ringing]
I'll get it.
Go.
[giggling]
It's a simple matter of self-preservation.
I mean, when you move around a lot...
you just don't let yourself get attached.
Much less, make plans to go to school dances.
I hate to break it to you, but in exactly one week...
your streak is officially going to end.
Maybe you're right.
Surprise!
[chuckling]
Come in. Jean.
We need to talk.
(Jean) What?
(man) Jean.
Why? How could you? Jean.
Wait, don't you "Jean" me. Just calm down. Please, calm down.
We can be civilized about this.
I'll be right back.
(Jean) Civilized?
(man) Just calm down. No, why are you telling me this?
Are you in love with her? She meant nothing to me.
Well, technically, they meant nothing to me.
"They"?
"They?"
Look on the bright side. It's out of my system.
Have a nice day.
Explain this to me again.
**[I Fall to Pieces by Patsy Cline playing]
Patsy's back.
It's packing time.
Does this mean you're not going to the dance?
We'll be gone by the end of the week.
I'll stay in touch.
Bye.
I'll miss you.
[sighing]
Where are we going this time?
There's a spot open at Dolores' bakery.
You know, I've always wanted to go there...
and you kids will love Brooklyn.
It's time for a new adventure and....
I'm sorry, honey.
I know you were finally making some friends here.
It's no biggie.
There's friends everywhere. Right?
**[The Real Thing playing]
(Holly) Hey, all you bloggers. It's me: Girl on the Move.
Well, here's a big shocker.
My mom got her heart broken. Again.
Yep, we're starting off on another big adventure.
That's my mom's word for running away.
"T-l-C" Tic.
Trick.
Stick.
Come on, little Miss Mary Sunshine.
Play the game. Give us a word with "tic" in it.
Fine.
Tragic.
Fantastic.
Pathetic.
Ecstatic.
Thank you.
Sarcastic.
Psychotic.
It's genetic.
(Holly) By some miracle...
my mom only got one speeding ticket the whole way.
It's Miss Jean Hamilton.
Are you married?
(Holly) He should write her a ticket for reckless flirting.
[mooing]
(Holly) Wow!
(Holly) I will say one thing, though.
For those of you who haven't done it yet...
put "Must see New York skyline"...
on your list of things to do before you die.
(Zoe) Oh, wow!
Oh, girls!
I bet it's full of quaint details, pretty moldings on the ceilings...
and old hardwood floors.
And charming little rat droppings in the breakfast nook.
How delightful. (Jean) Cut it out.
It's going to be perfect.
(Holly) The sad thing is, I'm actually getting good at this.
If all else fails, I have a very promising future...
as a professional mover.
Our new apartment has history and character.
And exotic local wildlife.
[giggling]
My mom calls it home.
I call it the Witness Relocation Program.
(Zoe) Mommy, look!
There it is. (Jean) I told you.
The same one as in Wichita.
It still comes out every night.
Even in hard times.
To remind us that every day holds the potential for beauty.
[giggling]
(Holly) It's getting late, and I'm wiped.
So, time to hit the sheets.
Even though I have no idea which box they're in.
Keep reading my on-line journal for more days...
in the life of a teenage gypsy. I'll be here.
The same me, just a different zip code.
[birds chirping]
**[Make Room playing]
[murmurs]
(girl) No! That's it! I'm not going. You go with him.
Sorry.
Check her out. (Amy) Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
How much your kicks cost you?
What?
I paid $50 for mine.
You? Free.
I pulled them out of a garbage can somewhere in Portland.
You win.
See you, freak.
Hey, you're new here?
Yeah, how'd you know? Your skin.
My skin looks new? It looks virgin.
No piercing, no tats.
See, us Brooklyn girls, we lose our skin virginity by fifth grade.
In fifth grade, I was just learning long division.
(man) Attention, all students.
Check in with your homeroom monitor each day....
That stinks.
You're going to have to take your yearbook photo...
with all the losers who missed it in the fall.
I don't do yearbook photos.
You have no choice.
It's like taxes and death.
Mandatory pain. If you don't do it yourself...
they'll hunt you down like an animal and force you to smile.
Not if I'm not here anymore, they won't.
[bell ringing]
I'm so glad you came. (Jean) Thanks.
Now, we keep the mixers in the back.
But I got to warn you, they're all older than God.
They don't really mix very well...
they just kind of move things around.
So I hope your manual mixer's in real good shape.
And watch out for our no-good oven.
It's worse than that one in Chapel Hill.
Off by a good 10 degrees.
Well, you know me.
I'm off by way more than that. Yes, you are.
And this is Gloria. Gloria, this is Jean...
the one I was telling you about. Really nice to meet you.
Likewise.
Do you know anything about wilting rose petals?
The fondant's too soft.
You need to add more cornstarch.
(Dolores) See, I told you she was good.
No wonder my rum cakes always look so drunk.
Help me. I like you.
You never eat the cakes?
You made it on time? Yeah, I'm here.
(girl) Attention, all students.
Talent show auditions will take place...
this Friday evening in the auditorium.
Come on out and show us what you got.
That's my seat.
Is there assigned seating?
No, but-- Why don't you take one of those?
I don't like sitting up front.
Me, neither.
[all chattering]
(Gloria) lsn't it big?
(Jean) It's gorgeous! It's so heavy.
I need a crane to lift my finger.
Well, baby, if he's any good at all...
you'll never have to lift a finger again.
I'm so glad I listened to you.
He was a customer.
Dolores coached me through the whole thing.
When to give him an extra doughnut, when to hold back.
You never told me that. (Dolores) I told you.
You just didn't want to listen.
(Jean) So I've had a few bad relationships.
(Dolores) Honey, if ex-boyfriends were dollars...
you'd be loaded by now.
Now, baby, what you gotta do is--
Mom, what you gotta do is sign my enrollment form.
4:00 already?
Girls, this is my daughter, Holly.
Hi. I'm going to get my purse.
Look at you! All grown up.
Got your little speed bumps and everything.
Welcome to Brooklyn, Holly.
(Jean) See you girls tomorrow.
Don't embarrass her. (Dolores) I've known her for so long.
So, tell me. How was it?
It was good. (Jean) Tell me more.
Excuse me, real quick, I was just, I was over here.
I was just wondering, did it hurt at all?
Did what hurt?
When you fell. You know, from heaven.
'Cause I was just thinking with a face like that...
you gotta be an angel, right?
Has that line ever worked for you?
Well, I got you to laugh, right? That's Step One.
I'm Lenny Horton. I'm the bread manager.
I make, you know, the bread.
We got ltalian bread, French bread, bulky rolls...
different kinds of kaiser rolls, pita bread.
You like pita bread? I'm Jean.
This is my daughter, Holly.
Hey, how you doing, Holly?
Great, and I think we gotta go before you learn Step Two.
**[Givin' up, Givin' up playing]
Lenny, tell me you didn't use the heaven line.
(Holly) First days at new schools always feel the same.
Like suddenly you're on a new planet, breathing a new atmosphere.
Can you scan this into Match.com?
Mom, I'm busy.
Doing what?
Do you have to do this right away?
Can't you just wait this time...
and see if you meet a guy the normal way?
Have you seen these lines?
I am in a race against time.
Now get on in there and scan this thing.
Every second counts. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
If a student brings a cell phone to school, it will be confiscated...
regardless of how....
Excuse me. I don't even know why we're here.
It's not like they're going to be my teachers four months from now.
That's negative imaging, Holly.
(Campbell) ...are not permitted in the school building.
Only winter hats will be permitted between the months of November...
and February and kept in your lockers.
Now, I'd like to introduce to you the Head of our Guidance Department.
Dr. Charles Fitch. (boy #1) All right, Fitchy!
(boy #2) Hey, Fitch!
Hey, Dr. Fitch! (Charles) Hey there, everyone.
Let me tell you how I run the Guidance Department.
I have an open-door policy, which means you can stop by my office...
whenever you want.
I also have an open-mind policy.
There are no stupid questions.
So please, if you have something on your mind, knock on my door.
Mom.
Or raise your hands.
Woman in the back. Go ahead. Hi.
Instead of once a year, have you considered a monthly forum where...
students and teachers could exchange thoughts in an effort to enhance...
communication and bridge gaps?
That's a...
That's a great comment, Mrs....
Miss Hamilton.
I also wondered if you'd thought of monthly mixers for single parents.
Not that I don't want to meet married parents as well.
I would.
It's just that sometimes we single parents...
have different concerns than married ones.
Different priorities. If you know what I mean.
And by priorities I mean:
I need to meet a good man.
In that case, where do I sign up?
[all laughing]
(Fitch) Okay, well, this was interesting.
Where were we here?
[water running]
So you're just not going to talk to me for the rest of your life?
[gargling]
Come on, Holly.
Every unmarried parent there appreciated the suggestion.
Did it ever occur to you that the point of the meeting...
wasn't for the needs of the single parent?
That the point of the meeting was maybe for, I don't know...
the kids? Well, sure.
I was just thinking-- About you!
Because you're always thinking about you.
[door slamming]
(Holly) She's doing it again.
Only this time, I can't smile and play along.
Because the truth is I'm tired...
of bubble-wrap and change of address cards, of figuring out new towns...
and finding new friends.
It's just not fun anymore.
It's just not.
[clearing throat]
You know what the entire student body...
is talking about this morning?
The Krispy Kreme truck that got in a wreck on Eighth Avenue.
There's donuts everywhere.
It's a total free-for-all.
Between the excitement and the sugar buzz, everyone's pretty much...
forgotten everything that happened before 8:00 this morning.
(Amy) It could have been worse.
(Holly) Don't worry, it will be.
It always starts the same.
I mean, she starts out hopeful, and then when the perfect man...
doesn't come around in two weeks, she gets desperate...
and hooks up with some loser.
Some guy who's not even good enough to mop her floors.
And then, when it doesn't work out, because it never works out...
we pack up and move again, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I can't even run away because that's what she does.
I thought you said you didn't mind all the moving around.
I didn't. I mean, I don't. I just got here.
The River Bistro.
What are we doing here?
I can't even afford to pee in a place like this.
Much less actually eat here.
Relax, it's under control.
My uncle's the owner.
Him?
(Ben) You've got to be kidding. No, him.
No, you didn't do that, did you?
Well, how long did you keep her waiting?
What? An hour?
Of course she's mad.
What? Hold on.
This is Holly. Hi.
Hi, Holly. Nice to meet you.
Why wouldn't she be mad?
Well, there's only one thing you can do: flowers.
And you can't go cheap, either. Nope.
A dozen, long-stemmed.
He knows about females.
He knows more about females than I know about females.
In my opinion, roses always work, always.
He doesn't actually believe that, does he?
But who am I to know?
Call me tomorrow and let me know how it worked out. Bye.
Yes, I do believe that. Don't you?
That flowers always work? Yeah.
Not if the guy's a loser.
The flowers aren't going to change anything.
Flowers are just flowers, right?
Wow, your friend's so cynical.
Sounds like she's not into romance.
You know what?
This is for you. Why?
Because a flower like this is perfect.
And giving a woman a dozen of them, it's like saying...
there is such a thing as perfect.
And it's out there.
Don't give up. You'll find it.
Really?
A yellow rose says all of that?
Actually a yellow rose is for your sick grandma.
[chuckles] For a woman, a red rose.
But if you really want to knock her socks off, you give her an orchid.
Why? What do orchids say?
You ever seen an orchid?
How it floats in the water, so delicate and beautiful?
When a woman gets an orchid...
well, she feels like...
she's floating on a cloud of infinite possibility.
[people chattering]
I swear I'll pay you back.
I still don't get how flowers from you will fix things.
Well, they're not flowers, they're orchids.
And they're not from me. They're from her perfect man.
Then let him pay.
I would, if he existed.
I'm lost.
Do you remember what your uncle said?
An orchid will make my mom feel special.
Which will make her happy. And not so desperate.
Which would make me happy, and then everybody wins.
(Amy) Holly? What?
Are you sure this is a good idea? I'm sure.
A few flowers never hurt anyone.
**[pop music playing]
(Jean) "Annoying mammal."
Six letters.
Hey, Mom. Badger.
Boy, am I thirsty.
[buzzer buzzing]
Was that the buzzer?
Five letters for "ln line to get, maybe."
Mom, wasn't that the buzzer?
The Times thinks they're so clever.
I've got to go take a shower right now.
Hey.
Excuse me.
Hello, that's my flower.
No, it's not, it's mine.
Is your name Jean? No, that's my girlfriend.
Okay, what's the card say?
It says, "To my dearest girlfriend...
"on her birthday, I love you so--" Give me my flower back.
[buzzer buzzing]
**[pop music playing]
[grunts]
Could you be any more crazy?
I was just bringing them to you.
[buzzer buzzing]
[grunting]
Wow! How beautiful.
Who are those for? Me.
Isn't that weird, someone left me flowers?
(Holly) Who? What's the card say? Let's see.
"How many women can look like a goddess in a bakery uniform?
"You are a vision."
Who sent them?
"A Secret Admirer."
Who could it be?
Well, obviously, someone that saw you at the shop.
Yeah, but how would he know my name?
Well, you wear a nametag, don't you?
Or where I live? Duh? Google.
Or that I love orchids?
Maybe he followed you home.
It's very strange.
No, it's probably scary.
Mom, look, this is the most romantic thing...
that a man has ever done for you.
Quit questioning it and enjoy it.
You are absolutely right.
[sighing]
Why are you wearing jeans under your robe?
How would you like to have bruises all over your body?
Your uncle is a genius.
It worked? She was singing happy songs!
She never sings happy songs.
Yeah, well, neither do l, but don't send me flowers, okay?
I like it that way.
[people chattering]
Hey.
[gasps]
Hey, check it out. Do I got juice or what? Look at Jean.
A little attention from me and she's all poofed up like a peacock.
It's the guy peacock who poofs up.
You know what I'm saying. It's an animal thing.
She's like a lioness letting the lion know she's ready.
It's the guy lion who poofs up, too.
[school bell ringing]
(teacher) People, don't forget to read Chapters 42 and 43.
There will be a test on Friday.
Peter, can I see you a minute, please?
(girl) Hurry up!
What's that?
Nothing. (Holly) Is that supposed to be me?
No, it's somebody else.
(Holly) The face.
This looks exactly like my face.
No, it isn't.
Okay, the face a little bit.
But that woman is on a horse.
You're not on a horse.
That's a completely different person.
It's pretty good.
My dad sponsored comic book conventions when I was a kid.
He'd take me.
If you hang around long enough, you pick it up.
So you hung out with your dad a lot?
No. Actually, after he and my mom split up...
that's pretty much the only thing we did together.
But, hey, at least I learned how to draw, right?
Divorce as a career builder. That's nice.
So, hey, have you ever been?
Divorced? Not yet.
No, to a comic convention.
No, not that, either.
Well, there's one coming up.
Six weeks from now. Westside Convention Center.
It sounds geeky, but it's kind of fun.
Yeah. I'm not much of a planner, you know.
Has anyone been asking for me?
Like who? I don't know.
Anyone? No.
[laughing]
Hey, Jean.
This has your name written all over it.
Dolores, you're crazy.
No! She's right. You're way too good for this place.
This contest is for professionals.
I mean, I'm basically a salesperson.
Explain this to me.
How come when it's a man you're looking at...
you're blind to his flaws...
but when it's you, flaws is all you see?
Hmm? Mmm.
Is it you?
(man) Yeah, it's me, babe.
Hi.
I love orchids. Thank you.
This is a rose. Which I also love.
So are you free Saturday night?
What did you have in mind?
Nothing short of rocking your world, babe.
Well, my world doesn't rock that easy.
That's right, make him work for it, girlfriend.
That's on account of you've never had...
your world rocked by Lenny "The World-Rocker" Horton.
Okay.
Let's say I check my social calendar...
and it turns out I am free Saturday night.
Where are we going?
Only to hear the greatest American band...
ever to pipe out a power ballad.
Styx concert.
[gasps]
Something I've never done.
You're a Styx newbie?
These are really hot tickets.
I must really like you.
Okay, so Saturday night. Saturday.
What? Stop!
It's impossible that Lenny is your secret admirer.
Nothing's impossible.
No. Some things are.
Like a man that sends you an orchid, the most romantic flower...
and then turns around and sends you a yellow rose.
That's the kind of flower...
that someone sends their sick grandmother in the hospital.
[door buzzer buzzing]
(Zoe) I'll get it.
Mom, please, can you just listen to me?
I read that note, okay?
A man like that...
a poet, he doesn't take a woman to a Styx concert.
Well, it's different.
So is a peanut butter and glue sandwich.
That doesn't mean you eat it.
Holly, I like this guy. He seems to like me.
Would it kill you to give him a chance?
Princess Zoe? Yes.
You can tell I'm a princess from all my beautiful necklaces.
N-E-C-K-L-A-C-E-S.
Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
Hi, Lenny.
Wow, Jean. Whoa! Great outfit.
Damn, where did you get that?
Who's-a-hottie.com?
[laughs]
All right. So, you got everything you need?
Yeah. Let me just put this on. Okay.
Hey, Holly, your mom said that Saturday night is movie night.
So, what do you say on me...
you take Princess Zoe here, you guys go see Bambi?
I'm not actually sure that Bambi is still in theaters.
Which is such a shame because I'm just dying to take...
my 7-year-old little sister to a movie where the mom gets...
killed by the evil male hunter.
I want to go see that.
Thank you, Lenny. That's very nice of you.
Be good.
Wow! It's great.
Yeah, it's a 1980 Pontiac Trans Am two-door hardtop.
Got the original paint, the original exhaust.
I re-built the tranny, tweaked the mill.
And as a matter of fact, I got...
some new passenger mats right here, so would you mind...
just taking your shoes off? Before you get in?
(Jean) I should have bought a pair of those hospital booties.
(Lenny) Wait, do you have any?
[phone beeping]
Let me guess.
The sick-grandma argument didn't fly?
(Holly) She barely even heard it.
She was too busy picturing herself as Mrs. Lenny Hair Band.
He's got to be derailed.
By what? II don't know.
Listen, I'm going to drop Zoe off at Dolores'...
and I'll meet you at the Bistro in 20.
Ice cream is going to help.
No, but your uncle will.
He knew exactly what to do about the orchids...
and he'll know what to do next.
(Amy) Ciao.
[crowd cheering]
(chorus) * Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto *
* Mata ahoo Hima de *
* Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto *
* Himitsu wo Shiri tai *
* You're wondering who II am *
* Secret, secret, II've got a secret *
* Machine or mannequin *
Lenny, I don't think that's Styx.
No, they're Kilroy, they're a tribute band to Styx.
* Secret, secret, II've got a secret **
(Lenny) Yeah, the singer's not as good as the original.
But if you close your eyes, you can't even tell the difference.
Yeah, you can tell.
We have a question.
Mel, put those two tables together.
Kid, can it wait? I'm a little busy.
(Holly) No, it's really important. It's for our school assignment.
Due tomorrow.
We need to know what the perfect man would do...
as a follow-up to the orchid.
Well, can't we talk about it tomorrow?
Wait, what could be more important than the perfect man?
Duh, perfect shoes.
Lance, please.
Don't "Lance, please" me.
Take a break and help these girls out.
You try the new Shiraz...
sit at your table and let good old Lance handle the floor.
All right. Five minutes.
Don't play with your hair at the bar, Lance.
So, what are you writing a school paper on, dating or something?
Yeah.
Well, what class would that be? English.
I'm looking at romantic heroes, like in literature.
You know.... Romeo.
Right, or Heathcliff.
Taking guys like that...
and comparing them to their real-life counterparts.
But you don't believe in romance.
I'm stretching.
Well, girls, I'm really not an authority on this.
Hot!
What makes today's Perfect man perfect?
What is it that he says or does that makes him a woman's perfect man?
Well, that depends. Every woman's different.
But yet, orchids work for all of them?
Well, as a gesture, they do. I mean, but that's just a....
That's a beginning, that's....
He's got to have a deeper connection than that.
He's got to know what makes her tick.
Which is why, if you don't know who the woman is...
it's rather a moot point.
She listens to Patsy Cline when she's sad.
Hypothetically.
Say she does.
Then what?
Patsy Cline's her sad music?
Wait a minute.
Now.
This is very happy music.
Keep it. But you know what?
Even if he does cheer her up...
he can't be a guy that's afraid of tears.
* Babe, II love you **
[Lenny sobbing]
It's like he wrote it about us.
(Holly) What if she's into word games?
Scrabble, you know, stuff like that?
Oh, yeah. Good stuff.
A little wit, a little wordplay. I like that.
And if she's been dumped a lot? Then what?
A lot?
(Ben) That's a tough one.
I guess the perfect guy would be....
He'd be someone who could....
He could be anywhere in the world...
but he chooses to be with her because...
Iife is better with her by his side.
What do you think? Did I pass the test?
(man) Very nice to meet you.
(woman) Stop it!
Big problem.
Hey, cutie. Hi, Amber.
Hey, okay. Designer dress, bias cut, wedding chic.
Where's the problem?
It's a small fortune.
No, that's a lie. It's a large fortune.
It's your day. Do it.
Really? Yeah.
I adore you.
(Amber) Okay, what about the cake?
You know what, girls? I got to go to work. Really.
I was thinking of something layers, chocolate, strawberry.
(Ben) Amber, let's talk about it tomorrow.
Lance, step away from the purse.
She's gorgeous. Yeah.
Together they look like the winners of a genetic lottery. Come on.
**[The Best Of Times playing]
[engine revs]
[music stops playing]
[dog barking]
[baby crying]
Here, let me get this for you. You got it?
(Jean) Thanks. Well, Lenny, l-- Whoops, we're wet. Watch it.
I don't even know what to say. It's been....
Now, Jean, I had a fantastic time.
I got to tell you, I really, you know.
I really, I could get used to this.
You're a good kisser.
(Lenny) It was a really good time.
All right. So, I'll see you at work, okay?
My shoes. I'm sorry.
[car driving away]
(Holly) How was the '80s flashback?
You scared me!
His stupid car is louder than a jumbo jet.
He probably woke up the whole entire neighborhood.
Holly, for me, would you give Lenny a chance?
Mom, for me, would you go slow this time?
You don't know who else is out there.
No, but here's what I do know:
Tonight I had a pretty good time.
(Mr. Orbach) "Oh what a tangled web we weave
"When first we practice to deceive!"
Who wants to talk about what that means?
He needs to write her a letter. Who?
The perfect man.
(Mr. Orbach) Adam, care to elucidate?
Yeah, you.
What do you think Sir Walter Scott was talking about?
You're going to forge a letter? I have to. If I don't...
my mom's going to be walking down the aisle...
to the sound of Mr. Roboto.
Well, I think, it's that lies get complicated.
Because?
Usually if you tell a lie, you have to tell another lie.
Except she's totally going to recognize my handwriting.
She won't recognize mine. True.
And each lie turns into another lie...
and another lie, and it makes things complicated.
Until, eventually, you're left with this big mess of lies...
that you can't find your way out of.
We'll do it right after school. Perfect.
All right. I'll buy that.
Alana, what does "tangled web" symbolize?
(Holly on recorder) What if she's into word games?
Scrabble, you know, stuff like that?
(Ben on recorder) Oh, yeah. Good stuff.
A little wit, a little wordplay. II like that.
(Holly) II know what II'm doing borders on delusional...
but what can II say?
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Trust me. IIf you met Lenny...
you'd lick the envelope and lend me a stamp.
[people chattering]
Hi.
Where did her troops go?
(Adam) She needed some quiet time...
to think things out.
What kind of things?
Well, you know, like what her next step is.
You know, whether she's going to form...
a powerful alliance with a prince or go it alone.
Which is she gonna choose?
I think she's going to go with the prince.
Really? Oh, yeah.
He's kind of a great guy, you know.
He's handsome. He's very nice.
And the thing with the--
Jousting. Jousting. Yes.
You should see him joust. He is like Joe Jouster.
Any time that anybody ever wants to hang out with him...
he's like "Guys, I can't. I've gotta practice my jousting."
Do you want to sit?
No.
I made plans with someone. So....
I thought you weren't much of a planner.
Yeah. Right.
Holly? Do you think we're going to stay here?
I don't know. Why?
There's a big spelling bee coming up with all the other schools.
My teacher entered me.
I bet you're going to win that. You're the best speller I know.
Yeah. Only, it's not for a couple of months.
[door closing] Well, you never know, we might still be here.
I hope so. I've never entered anything.
Hi, girls.
Mommy, are you sick?
What?
You don't look normal.
I got a letter.
What kind of letter?
It's a love letter.
What does it say?
One second.
Hey, you! Give me that!
"My dearest Jean.
"The letters J-E-A-N used to spell out just another word for denim."
This guy is great, Mom.
"But, since I found you, I hear those four-letter words...
"and all I think about is another four-letter-word:
"love. L-O-V-E."
Love? Yeah.
He loves you? That's what he said.
Zoe, he's trying to be romantic.
"Being near you is like standing on a triple word score."
He plays Scrabble.
"Everything matters three times as much.
"The sun shines three times as bright...
"and I am three times as happy."
What's this?
He gave you a present? I like him now.
Smart, witty, romantic.
You can't still think this guy is Lenny, right?
It is kind of hard to picture Lenny playing Scrabble.
**[l will Learn to Love Again playing]
Come on, Mom, let's dance.
[Jean whooping]
(Zoe) You go, Mom!
[giggling]
Mom.
[shouting]
No! Come on.
(Gloria) I can't believe it.
And he sent you a present, too?
Yeah, a CD of a band I'd never heard of, but I loved.
It's like he knows me better than I know myself.
So why is he hiding?
He's not hiding. He's just.... Just what?
(woman) Excuse me? Can you help me?
(Zoe) Dinner's ready.
There must be something wrong with him.
Who? Mr. Wonderful.
What? No, there's nothing wrong with him. He's perfect.
Then why all the secrecy?
Why doesn't he just come on over, show his face, and say hello?
Like a normal person.
(Holly) Listen to yourself.
The man wants to be the least bit romantic...
and all of sudden you think he's not normal.
How do I know if he is? And if he is, what does he look like?
Is he tall, is he short?
Does he have blond, curly hair, straight, black hair, what?
I bet he has a big, fat wart on his nose.
[gasping]
I bet that he's really, really handsome.
And how would you know?
He writes like he's really handsome.
Honey, have you seen pictures of Shakespeare? Bald, skinny.
Does that even really matter?
Yes. Because you can't have a relationship with a man...
you've never laid eyes on.
Honey, I've got a party of 50 coming in a half an hour.
It will only take a second.
Oh, You can take my picture. Just be sure to get my good side.
Over here, Brad Pitt. Over here, David Spade, not so cute.
No, I'm just swamped, I'm sorry.
Hey, Uncle Ben, what's that stuff you put on top of your spinach salad?
Parmesan what? Cheese.
[both laugh]
Ben. It's a nice name.
Uncomplicated. Dependable. Ben.
And it's way better than Lenny. And he's way cuter than Lenny.
Don't you be mean about Lenny. He's a good egg.
Just not the egg for me.
I like this egg. I want this egg to be my boyfriend.
When's he coming over? As soon as he gets back.
Well, where did he go?
He's opening up a new restaurant in China.
And the phone lines there are impossible, evidently.
So as soon as he gets back, he's going to call.
Cool. What else does the letter say?
That's private. Excuse me.
[sighing]
(Amy) China.
How are we ever going to get a stamp from China?
We won't.
Now that he's traveling, he asked her to send...
her e-mail address to his e-mail address.
He has an e-mail address?
[shushing]
Brooklyn Boy, this new account that I'm setting up.
Well, at least it's consistent, since everyone lies in cyberspace.
But we can't use the computer at my house in case my mom finds it.
I'd offer ours, except my brother's on 24/7...
buying those little Yu-Gi-Oh cards on eBay.
Who else?
It's kind of messy.
[laughs]
It's kind of dark.
Oh, yeah.
Should be on.
Thank you so much for letting me do this.
You must think that I'm crazy, but at least my mom's happy, you know.
It's such a change...
'cause she usually spends most of her time depressed or with idiots.
Maybe I should try it.
My mom only smiles once a month when the alimony check comes.
[chuckles]
[clicking]
(Holly on recorder) And if she's been dumped a lot? Then what?
(Ben on recorder) A lot?
That's a tough one.
II guess the perfect guy would be....
He could be anywhere in the world...
but he chooses to be with her because...
Iife is better with her by his side.
[clicking]
(Holly) Dear Passionate Baker...
II'm spending my days with very serious business people...
and II know II should be listening to every word they say...
(Ben's voice) but all II keep thinking is...
what am II doing all the way in China?
Unbelievable. Listen to this. Come on. Let's go.
(Jean) It's from Ben.
"l planned this restaurant before I'd ever laid eyes on you.
"lf I had to do it over...
"I'd buy the building right next to yours and open there."
He'd rather be with me.
Why don't you write him back?
Good.
Excuse me.
(Jean) Dear Brooklyn Boy...
if your food's half as good as your letters...
nothing would make me happier than having your restaurant on my block.
But II'd hate to deprive the nation of China...
of that kind of satisfaction. So open your restaurant there first.
(Ben's voice) Dear Passionate Baker...
as long as II'm in the kitchen cooking...
it doesn't matter where II am.
(Jean) IIt's a real specific kind of satisfaction, isn't it...
cooking for people?
II'm only a baker, but II put as much creativity and passion...
into my cakes as a painter puts on a canvas.
Granted, when all's said and done, all II've made is a cake.
But then again, you can't eat the Mona Lisa.
Waiting, the Passionate Baker.
Dear Passionate Baker...
creativity and passion, huh?
II'm starting to figure out what makes you tick.